John Higgins believes his poor season so far is largely down to the bitter disappointment over his performance against Ronnie O'Sullivan at last year's World Championship.
Higgins lost five tournament finals last season, three of them after having significant leads, but he insists it was his 17-11 semi-final defeat to O'Sullivan at the Crucible that left scars that have still not totally healed.
"Out of all the matches last season, it was the world semi-final I lost that was the worst for me," Higgins told Sporting Life.
"It was the way I played in such a big game, I just felt like I had nothing. It was pretty soul destroying. You're playing on the biggest stage against one of your biggest rivals in your career and I just felt like I never turned up. That match more than anything knocked the stuffing out of me for the first half of this season.
"People talk about that frame that made it 10-6 rather than 9-7, but I honestly think it would have been a travesty had I won. My standard was nowhere near good enough.
"The finals I lost, you kind of weren't thinking about them at the time, you were just rolling on to the next tournament and invariably doing pretty well in the next tournament, and maybe not giving it a second thought. Maybe during the summer I did think more about them and the chances I let slip. But it was the semi-final of the World Championship that was the worst match.
"I really need to get my act together and try and forget it now. I have to get back on the horse and be more upbeat. I've not got into the Grand Prix and it will take something special now to get in the Players Championship and Tour Championship. I just need to do better in the remaining events this season."
Higgins recently revealed he was ready to work with a sports psychologist in an effort to bounce back from his current struggles and enhance his autumn years in the game.
The 47-year-old Scot has tended to go it alone in his career, particularly since his father and mentor John Sr died in 2011. But it's clear his confidence has taken a hit in recent times, and Higgins is now willing to look for outside help.
"I've always felt pretty strong within me but maybe it's just harder now as I get older," he said. "I think physically and mentally, your whole nervous system begins to shut down. It's part of life, and that might be happening with myself when you get to the crunch moments in big matches and things like that.
"So it's one of those things I might need to look at. It would be good to chat to someone that has been at the coalface, that you can talk over a few things with. Look, I don't know who it would be or if anyone would be interested.
"But you look at the likes of Ronnie, all the people he's worked with, you look at Mark Williams and the way he's transformed his life through the SightRight system and I've sort of just tailed along. It's something I maybe need to look at going into the second half of the year and try and come up with a couple of answers.
"I know snooker has been a big part of my life, but I don't know if it is the be all and end all that it maybe is for other players. Other players get every last sinew out of their body and mind, and I don't know if I've ever done that. Maybe that's been a good thing, I don't know. But in a funny way, I want it more now as I'm nearing the end of my career and you think it might be slipping away."
Despite some of his downbeat talk, the truth is Higgins has still been battling at the very top of the game into his late 40s, mirroring the incredible careers of his "Class of 92" rivals O'Sullivan and Williams.
There seems to be no end in sight any time soon for this extraordinary trio, but Higgins admits he does have a tentative plan for when he might hang up his cue.
"I've got it roughly in my head that when my daughter (now aged 14) hits 18 or 19 and goes into the big world without her mum and dad, that's when I'll look to do things with my wife and maybe take a step back. That's a little goal in my head, that I'll look at something different then," Higgins said.
"I've got three great children. My boys don't really need their dad so much now. It's my daughter I've got to keep an eye on for now.
"Maybe when she's a few years older though. That will coincide with me being roughly about 50, 51. I would love to still be in the top 16 then and still competing. I'll take a look at things at that time."
First things first for Higgins – it's a brand new year and that means the Masters, a tournament he won in 1999 and 2006. He kicks off this year's campaign against Jack Lisowski on Monday night.
Higgins is relishing playing in front of a noisy Alexandra Palace crowd again, particularly with memories of his raucous meeting with Williams a year ago still fresh in the mind.
"It's an incredible atmosphere to play in, the best I've ever known at the Masters without a doubt," he added. "The atmosphere that place generates is up there with late drama at a world semi-final or final.
"I'm looking forward to playing there again. I always love playing Jack, I love his style around the table. He's great for the game, he plays a brilliant brand of snooker. His time will come, he's challenging at a lot of tournaments now and I'm sure he'll win multiple events.
"I am seeing glimpses of better form for me. I was practising on my own over Christmas and new year, and I'm seeing the odd shoots of recovery. So we'll see what happens. I'll be up for it for sure."
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