Paul Nicholson on his return to competitive darts, Q School commitment and the dilemma of juggling punditry with a playing career

The Asset, who will make his competitive return in the Modus Super Series this week, explains all in his latest Sporting Life column…

I’ll be back!

I’ll be playing on October 13 & 14 in the last week of qualifying for the Stage One Champions Week at the Modus Super Series. I’ll play eight matches over the two days and if I make the top three of the five players involved, I’ll then progress to the Week 12 Finals on the Saturday.

My opponents include Richie Howson, who has done well in the world senior events this year, and Andy Jenkins, who I’ve known forever. In fact during my first British-based Pro Tour event back in 2009, the first player ever to beat me was Andy Jenkins! So it’s funny how some things seem to come full circle.

Standard-wise I think I’ll need to be averaging around 85 to 90 to get through the group but one thing I’ve learned down the years is that it’s not to try to attain a certain statistical level. It’s all about trying to win a leg in whatever situation you find yourself in.

I’m under no illusions on how it’s going to be difficult for me and I’m not the player I was. I don’t have enough time to practice like other players because I have a very tough and busy media schedule but I have been fitting in enough to get a feel for the equipment I’m using.

I’ll give it everything I’ve got but the mission for Thursday and Friday is to see where I stand with my game – and after that I’ll know what I need to do in the next few months to prepare for Q School.

Reliving former glories?

I’m sure there will be lots of darts fans out there who will be glad to see me back – but if you think I’m going to be the player who used to win titles, then think again. I’m not that sharp. I want to find out who I am as a player in 2022 after all my injuries and grip issues.

Even if I lose all my games, at least I know where I stand.

Some people have asked me whether I ever watch back my great major wins from many years ago to give myself belief that I can challenge at the top again. After all, some will say I am only 43.

But there’s been so much in the way of change for me over the last 12 years. I’m a completely different player and person.

I’ve been forced to change my grip and equipment several times and whenever I’ve felt like I’ve been getting somewhere with my game – like in 2016 and 2018 – I had to alter things again.

I then lost my Tour Card which had a huge impact on me mentally and I realised I should take a step back from playing and focus on my media career.

But during the pandemic, when I was asked to be involved in the Modus Live Leagues from home, I got myself into great condition and put in some impressive numbers that really made me think I could get back on tour.

But then at the back end of 2020, my shoulder started to go and gave me a lot of pain. In 2021 I decided to get my shoulder fixed on my right side and the elbow fixed on the left side! The shoulder is fine now but the elbow will never really improve. During all that my media commitments sky rocketed so it’s got to the point where I thought if I don’t play again soon, I may never do.

From a technical perspective, I can’t mirror the player I used to be because of all the changes.

Playing or punditry?

Personally, I think if I was to win a tour card and give up my seat on commentary duties, I would struggle to get it back in the future.

I will go to Q School but won’t put myself under any pressure to get back on tour. Not even 0.1% of pressure. It’s a fact-finding mission to see if I can still do it.

Just taking part, I’ll then have the freedom to take part in Challenge Tour events as well as Modus tournaments but if by some miracle I do win a tour card then I’ll make a decision as to whether I’d commit to it.

I love working in the media and I’ve met some tremendous people along the way. I’m in a better place mentally than I was during my playing days because of the adrenaline levels that I don’t have to manage anymore.

The lifestyle is still hectic with lots of travelling and plenty of working hours but I’ve settled into a routine and I’m at a place in my life when I want to take care of myself mentally and physically.

Do I want to be a professional at the top level anymore? Not really, but I do want to find out whether my body and mind can give me the option.

I’m not sure if the PDC would allow me to juggle playing with commentary. Back in 2018 I was able to commentate on events I hadn’t qualified for because the PDC used to arrange commentary duties on an ad hoc basis. Now they plan many months in advance so the flexibility wouldn’t be there.

If I got my card, I’d have to give up European Tour commentary all together and there would be no guarantees I’d qualify to play in the events either.

Darting targets

It’s hard to say how high I’d have to climb as a darts player again to be worth jeopardising my media career.

I first need to know how it feels to play competitive darts with a purpose regularly again because I’ve not done that for years.

If I want to compete, then I want to do it on my own terms. I can’t put myself through the ringer at the age of 43 and risk my mental health and physical wellbeing for a sport that won’t give me the same financial security that the media does.

I did take that risk at the age of 28 when I left a six-figure salary in Australia to join the pro ranks – but it was worth taking back then. This time, it’s a very, very big risk that I wouldn’t want to take 100%. I’d like to dip my toe in, but no more at the moment.

Too old to dream?

The one dream that really gets my juices going – apart from the World Championship – is playing in the World Grand Prix again because I love the double-start format.

However, I have so many great memories from these darting venues as an analyst that I don’t really need the buzz as a player anymore. I love Christmas because of how long I stay at the Ally Pally commentating on all those incredible matches and talking about the sport I love.

I even like Blackpool now because of memories I’ve got there as a pundit – but I hated it as a player!

I don’t visualise myself walking out on stage anymore because I still think the fans will boo me over things that happened over a decade ago! Do I want to put myself through that again? I admire Gerwyn Price so much for how he copes with it all! I’d cost myself money with how I’d react to some of them and jeopardise the reputation I’ve built up as a pundit!

I can’t be overwhelmed by ambitions of getting back into the top 10 or anything like that. It’s a completely different sport now and the demands are much tougher – let alone the performance levels you need to reach.

If I don’t throw another competitive dart again on the PDC Tour, I’ll still be happy with my career.

Paul or the Asset?

I’m not the same person as I was in the days when my Asset moniker came to the fore. I still like wearing the sunglasses at exhibitions and I do miss the shirt and tie – but it’s not sustainable under the lights of the stage these days.

If I qualified for a UK Open or another major televised tournament, then I’d gauge the situation closer to the time as to how I’d want to portray myself to the fans.

There’s a small part of me that thinks The Asset has gone into retirement, and I just want to see what Paul Nicholson is made of.

The last thing I want to do is put myself through the stresses of the Darts Regulation Authority again. When Tommy Cox was alive I was in front of that panel so many times, it gave me anxiety. I get on great with the tournament director Graham Fairhurst but he’s got a job to do and if my adrenaline levels are high, I don’t want to cause problems.

I want to be more of a zen-style player and not repeat the same mistakes of the past.

Inspirations

The one player who has inspired me more than anyone else to give this a go is Peter Wright.

You look at what he’s done in his 40s and 50s, the way he’s cultivated his image and created a world championship-winning formula twice with all his equipment and technique experimentation is extraordinary.

He has actually contacted me to say he hopes I go to Q School and that if anyone can make a comeback, it’s me. And that meant a lot.

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