With the Premier League season coming to a close, we look at some of the best and most memorable quotes from players and managers.
"I've won more titles alone than the rest of the managers in this league combined." - Jose Mourinho had presumably been sitting on this gem until Arsene Wenger left Arsenal.
"Give them all the help they need because clearly they cost us two points today. It's a joke." - Parklife! Charlie Austin's ref rant sounded even better with a Blur soundtrack.
"Claudio (Ranieri) is risk-free and ready-made for the Premier League, and particularly so for what we need at this moment at Fulham." - Cottagers owner Shahid Khan is confident he has the right man for the job.
"We have to stay calm, don't panic - like Dad's Army - don't panic and carry on doing your job because it's a long, long season." - Rafael Benitez channels his inner Corporal Jones.
"I'm back. I'm happy to be back." - West Ham's Marko Arnautovic announces his return, even though he hadn't actually been anywhere.
"There were 14 years between the first one and the last one. It cannot happen anymore - for the next 14 years." - Fined for running onto the pitch against Everton, Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp pencils in 2033 for his next incursion.
"I can't wait to get out of it, if I'm honest. I think we'll be far better out. In every aspect. Football-wise as well, absolutely. To hell with the rest of the world." - Neil Warnock was frustrated by the Brexit negotiations. But Cardiff's Prexit came first.
"It gives me the belief that we are going to make much more points in the second part of the season than we did in the first part." - At least Mourinho got that right.
"Caption this." - Paul Pogba's cryptic Instagram post shortly after Mourinho's sacking.
"You do one as well." - Gary Neville's not so cryptic response.
"The fact of the matter is it appears this group of players is extremely difficult to motivate." - Maurizio Sarri put the blame squarely on his players after Chelsea's 2-0 defeat at Arsenal.
"I wanted to kill him." Ranieri took Aboubakar Kamara's penalty miss against Huddersfield well.
"My wife said to me 'darling, if you had wanted to thump the referee and linesman, I wouldn't have stopped you'." Cardiff's controversial defeat by Chelsea even left Mrs Warnock fuming.
"I had to tell her off. I fined her a week's wages because she can't say things like that." - Neil Warnock hits Sharon in the pocket.
"Claudio Ranieri agreed to my decision that a change was in the best interest of everyone." - Khan changed his tune with Fulham heading for the drop.
"Nothing about this United team I like at all. They're just awful." - Neville reaches his wits' end with Manchester United.
"We are fighting with the best Liverpool ever, one of the best teams I've seen in my life." - Pep Guardiola bigs up Manchester City's title rivals.
"I said, 'no shoot Vinnie, no shoot'!" - Vincent Kompany's flagrant disregard for his manager's instructions comes to light after City's crucial win at Leicester.